It's NOT about YOU. It's about them!

Guess what--job search is NOT about you. It's about them.

The biggest block to success I see, when coaching clients in career management, behavior and communications, personal happiness, interpersonal relations, and spiritual life, is getting a client to see beyond themselves.

I guess that might be the biggest problem we all have in every aspect of our lives: Seeing beyond ourselves. Getting past our "self".

As a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst and Certified DISC Communication Consultant, I apply Dr. Tony Alessandra's "The Platinum Rule": "Do unto others as THEY'D like done unto them." (http://www.alessandra.com/abouttony/aboutpr.asp)

I ran across this blog written by the late Don Goodman, a respected colleague, who talks about the importance of the RIGHT ATTITUDE. He correctly identifies that attitude changes behavior and, ultimately, your job search results. As I was reading the post, I got to thinking that each of these 6 behaviors can be remedied by keeping The Platinum Rule in mind—by remembering it's about them, not you.


The 6 Behaviors and the applied "Platinum Rule" antidote are:

1. Lack of conversation: Don writes: "People hire those they are comfortable with and enjoy talking to." Interviews can be stressful, but if you focus more on your own stress and proving your experience and skills you will not create a connection. Remember, your interviewer is human and not only the temporary face of the company. Come prepared to initiate conversations that you suspect will be interesting to your interviewer and watch for signs of discomfort. Follow the interviewer's behavioral cues to ensure you are communicating and behaving in a way that makes them comfortable and interested.
   
   
2. Waiting on others to take action: It's up to you to make sure people are aware of you. And it's up to you to make connections. If you've shared your resume or mentioned to your contacts that you are looking for your next opportunity, did you do so in a way that made a connection? Everyone is overloaded with too much information. They will most likely put your needs aside, in favor of their urgent needs. But if you make a connection--doing something for your contacts or making it easy for them to help you—you can make yourself top of mind!
   
   
3. Not staying current: Be willing to expand your comfort zone to give others what they need. Remember it's not about what you like or what you want. It's about what others need. It's about the needs and trends of a company, industry, or market. Be aware of what they are and adapt your technical or other skills accordingly.
   
   
4. Unwilling to start from the ground up: This is connected to the #3 Behavior. It is a reminder that it's not about you. Life is made of change. Change makes us uncomfortable, but with the benefit of hindsight, you can generally see that change leads to opportunity. If you are fixed and rigid, you will be unable to adapt and unable to capture the opportunity offered by change. Ask yourself, "what is needed to accomplish my dreams"? If the answer reveals complete change or a starting over, remember it's not about what you would rather do—or NOT do—it's about what the circumstance require.
   
   
5. Me. Me: Oh boy. This is my favorite one to 'preach'. I still see those outdated objective statements on resumes. The ones that say "I've always loved marketing and I'm looking to move into my dream marketing job" or something like that. Your resume is a business proposal. The company you are contacting and the contacts you make are looking for what's in it for them. Remember this: They don't care about you, if they don't need what you're selling.
   
   
6. Talking bad: Check your attitude at the door. Better yet, get rid of it. Everyone has problems. They don't want to hear about yours. What do they want? The want solutions. Be positive and position everything you say and do in your job search as a solution!

Check out the original article and remember:

The Platinum Rule:"Do unto others as THEY'D like done unto them." It's about them, not you.If you would like to learn more about adapting your behavior and communication for success, contact me for more information!

Wendy Haylett | www.discareer.com | www.aboveallresumes.com

Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA), Certified DISCstyles Communication Consultant, Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW), Rapid Employment Master Coach, ProfilingPro Advisor, Buddhist Sensei (Teacher) & Spiritual Coach