Tip #8 from my new "Grab Your Goals" coaching program is about Ch-ch-CHANGES!
David Bowie "Changes" - YouTube
"Turn and face the strange
Pretty soon now you're gonna get older . . ."
This, from one of my favorite songs in life by the late David Bowie, sums up how I dance around change: "Pretty soon now you're gonna get older." As a Buddhist, impermanence is not a concept I run from or avoid. I have embraced and I live with impermanence as a guiding force.
And yet, and yet... Earlier in life the thought of getting older was interesting. A decade or so ago, I realized the "pretty soon" margin of error had disappeared. And now, at 65, well—even though they say 65 is the new 45—65 is the sort of default characterization of old, isn't it?
Getting OLDER is still a motivator, though. I still have goals I want to achieve. I still have dreams. Most of these are different than the ones I had even 2 years ago and WAY different that the ones I had at 45. That's the thing about impermanence. Everything keeps changing.
Most of us hate change. We feel change is hard. Or that we don't have the personality or strength to deal with change.
We have all experienced change, though, haven't we? We got through and lived to tell about it. We succeeded at it!
A couple of things to realize about change, as we think of our change history and the changes we still would like to make, is:
⏩ Change is a cycle.
⏩ You have succeeded in facing and accomplishing change.
Where are you in the cycle of wanting to make some Ch-Ch-Changes?
✅ Breaking Point?
If you are "bad" at making changes or are currently stuck at one of the stages in the above change cycle, can you remember from navigating change in your past what it was that snapped you out of it and forced you to do something? Was it PAIN or EXTREME PAIN or was it SELF-HONESTY?And what are the reasons that you let yourself be victimized by the change cycle AGAIN!
✅ You don't want to change
✅ You don't know what you want
✅ Your dream isn't big enough
✅ You're letting your fear be bigger than you
✅ You are attached to your problem
✅ You are benefiting from your problem
Take some time reflect on when you made big changes in the past and see if you can remember the cycle you went through and how you finally got out of the cycle to make the change.
Then look at the cycle of change again and ask yourself where are you now? At fear? Discontent? Where? And why aren't you moving past that point? Look at the reasons again. Any of those describe why you can't move toward change?
This is an exercise of self-honesty and it is the most productive way to SNAP YOU OUT OF IT! Take some time with this exercise, so that you can avoid the OTHER way of initiating change: PAIN!
2 More Tips remain in this series. Look for them!
Tip #7 from my new "Grab Your Goals" coaching program is to ENVISION YOU living your goal or goals.
Open a Word doc, your journal, or grab a piece of paper and write a VISION STATEMENT that will help you realize living as if you have already attained your goals. Do this as free-writing: Set a timer for 5 minutes and just write about your ideal life, career, home, family, relationship, travel ... whatever your goals. Do a stream-of-consciousness 'brain dump'. Don't think to much. Just spew the contents of your mind on the paper or document.
When the 5 minutes are up, reread your free-writing and edit it to make sure you are writing using the 4 P's:
✅ Use PERSONAL statements (I, me).
✅ Write in PRESENT tense, as if it's happening now.
✅ Use only POSITIVE words, not DON'T, NOT, etc.
✅ Write with PASSION. Feel it, use emotion, describe!
After you've completed your vision statement, you can expand the activity to create a VISION BOARD, using photos, graphics, or other representations that can keep you focused on your goal.
Next up: Dealing with fear of change.
Tip #6 from my new "Grab Your Goals" coaching program is YOUR BIG WHY! You can't accomplish something if you don't know WHY you want to.
And your real WHY is probably not the why you answer first. Your WHY needs to BIG enough to energize your motivation every day.
What are the real reasons for pursuing your goal? How do you find that out? By asking yourself "Why?" continuously.
Try this exercise:
✅ What is your goal?
✅ Why do you want to achieve it?
✅ What about the outcome makes you want to achieve it?
✅ And WHY do you want that?
Keep going until you've dug deep into the core of you and the REAL reason!
Next up: Creating a vision of you living your goal.
Continuing my "Grab Your Goals" theme, I will share something—that at first glance—seems to go against my goal strategy and practice.
Reggie Rivers suggests that if you want to achieve your goals, don't focus on them.
He has something there and I agree with his concept that "The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them."
I enjoyed his talk. I think you will, too.
Tip #5 from my new "Grab Your Goals" coaching program is selecting the top 4 of your one-year goals to focus on during a structured goal program. (Message me if you're interested and we'll talk).
What 4 goals will have the biggest impact on a change or shift in your direction toward what you REALLY want? In my program, I guide clients to goal achievement through multiple focus areas.
An important area is discovering your "BIG WHY" or having a BIG enough reason to keep going and keep motivated. Working with exercises around your BIG WHY is critical to having a vision and direction. Without that, trying to accomplish "goals" can be a confusing and frustrating time-waster!
Clarifying your BIG WHY gets your subconscious mind involved and, without that, you are working on only half your available cylinders.
Next up: Having a big enough reason. Steering your actions—your hows— by your BIG WHY.
I was intrigued from the first moment I read the bold claim accredited to Socrates that "the unexamined life is not worth living" and it has been a touchstone throughout my life. And, through the power of hindsight, I see its influence powering many of my career choices and life activities.